Nerves

So planning a wedding is always a little nuts, right? I think so. Even the most calm brides have moments with their mother, fiance, friends, bridesmaids, or something or someone isn't just perfect and its irritating or makes you fret. I am slowly excepting that fact, and I insist on not letting those little things ruin the big day.

Moving on and fast forwarding past the big day, my nerves are heading towards the actual marriage. It is not that I doubt future hubs, but it is more about doubting myself. I have days where I sit and wonder, am I ready for this? Am I going to be a good wife? How is it going to be living in the same city, let alone the same house as a man that I have been apart from for nearly two years...Am I going to be able to do all the wifey things that I think I need to do, am I going to have a cute house, am I going to make him happy, is my non-existent career ever going to appear among all of these things? In a nutshell, can I handle this?

The truth of the matter is that, I have no idea how all those things are going to pan out. I do not have a clue what the future holds for us, and I am treading water with my career or even what our new home will look like.

I think that the peace that comes from all these nerves is in something far bigger than my mind can actually conceive,because it is found in God. I think throughout this process, I have hit the highs and lows. I will say that the wedding planning is nuts, yes. But the planning for the marriage is even more crazy, because the fact is, as much as we try, life only goes so far in our plans, and the rest is up to the big man upstairs.

Everything happens for a reason. Why? I do not know. But I am slowly learning to rely on God and trusting that the paths and doorways that have opened and are opening for our soon to be family are the ones we are supposed to be taking.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;